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whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

And here’s the problem: The same fate awaits any man that walks into The Beast’s lair and tries to take away from Brock Lesnar the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. And it’s almost an unfair fight to begin with because anybody that steps into this ring is just a challenger.

Just a man. My client is not a man.

My client…is THE BEAST!

And this beast will lay wreckage to any man that tries to take that title away from him. Which means the same beating awaits. Which makes every single title defense by Brock Lesnar not only must-see…but can’t miss.

Now if you’re too cheap, or too stupid, or too blind, or too ignorant to spend $9.99 on the WWE Network - let tell you what happened last night: My client, Brock Lesnar, imposed his will on John Cena. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what they call “Basic Brockanomics”.

Eat, sleep, suplex, repeat.

Suplex, repeat. Suplex, repeat.
Suplex, repeat. Suplex, repeat.
Suplex, repeat. Suplex, repeat.
Suplex, repeat. Suplex, repeat.
Suplex, repeat. Suplex, repeat.
Suplex, repeat. Suplex, repeat.
Suplex, repeat. Suplex, repeat.

Suplex…RE-PEAT!

Brock Lesnar lives by the motto: “Eat. Sleep. Suplex. Repeat.”

"Eat. Sleep. F5. Repeat."

"Eat. Sleep. Victimize. Repeat."

"Eat. Sleep. Beat. Repeat"

"Eat…Sleep…Conquer"

…John…Cena. (X)

(Source: thebeastlesnar)

tom-sits-like-a-whore:

furbearingbrick:

aimeefrommars:

septemberism94:

schim:

Cats who can’t figure out walls [x]

PLEASE TAKE YOUR CAT TO THE VET IF YOU SEE THEM DOING THIS BEHAVIOR OVER TIME.

It’s called “head pressing” and it occurs in dogs and cats. 

Head pressing is characterized by the compulsive act of pressing the head against a wall or other object for no apparent reason. This generally indicates damage to the nervous system, which may result from a number of varying causes, including prosencephalon disease (in which the forebrain and thalamusparts of the brain are damaged), or toxic poisoning.

http://www.petmd.com/cat/conditions/neurological/c_ct_headpressing

http://www.vet.cornell.edu/FHC/health_resources/toxoplasmosis.cfm (head pressing is listed as a symptom)

http://sevneurology.com/patients/clip-multilobular-osteochondroma (About a dog’s brain tumor but head pressing is listed as a symptom)

I wasn’t going to reblog this until I read the important caption dang thank you!!!

YOU JUST SAVED THE LIFE OF MY CAT THANK YOU!

SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE. THIS COULD SAVE YOUR KITTIE’S LIFE!

DOGS DO THIS TOO! Look out for your cats and dogs!

(Source: fuckyeahfelines)

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